On top of wondering about names and nurseries, I'm starting to wonder about a second baby shower. I've been asked by a few people if I'm going to have another one.
First, I used to work with several older ladies at my previous school who frequently complained about having to attend, and buy gifts for, showers for second, third, and maybe even fourth children of teachers who had worked at the school during all of their pregnancies. They would say "it never used to be this way!".
I looked it up online because I had never heard that you don't hold showers for each child. It sounds like it used to be common to only hold showers for the first, but it is becoming more common to hold a baby shower for each child, especially if the second child is a different gender than the first or when there is a large time gap between the two (and much of the gear, clothes, etc. are out-of-date). Our two are not only same gender but they are fairly close in age, so I really don't need much (besides some infant clothes since the 4-5 month gap between their months of birth makes the clothing I already have seasonally inappropriate).
My sister (being a second child) says it's unfair to the second child not to have a baby shower for him, and I agree to some extent; I believe each child should be celebrated, of course! But my opinion is that showers celebrate mom more than the new baby and the point is to get things we "need", so I feel like having a second shower is greedy.
What are your thoughts? Is it inappropriate/greedy to have a shower? Or am not being fair to the second child by not having one?
I'm not sure what my thoughts are, but I see both sides of the argument. I can see where baby #2 could be considered left out of not getting some brand new things because if they're the same gender as their older sibling, they're going to get mostly hand-me-downs. I don't know about having a full fledged shower, but I don't think it's greedy to say "we need a few things for our second baby" to family and friends. I don't know if this helps, but that's what my thoughts are! Ask me again when we're pregnant with baby number #2 and I might have a different answer, LoL.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I assume that when you write, "if I'm going to have another" shower, you mean "if I'm going to be the guest of honour" at another shower. (I agree with Miss Manners that one should never throw one's own shower, be it baby or bridal.)
ReplyDeleteLecture's done.
As to what others might do for you, if your friends want to throw a party to celebrate Floodlet's imminent birth, then PAR-TAY! Don't do it for Floodlet's sake (he won't care), but do it for you and Jason. You may choose to invite only people of your generation (so those older ladies don't get their noses out of joint) and offer a charitable option for gift-giving.
And I guarantee that those closest to you will give gifts anyway. It's always such fun to browse the baby section! Floodlet will not go naked!
Good point on the wording- no, I would not throw my own shower. Question is would I allow a shower to be thrown "in my honor" (or in Floodlet's honor?)?
DeleteI like the charitable gift-giving option. And I do know that Floodlet will receive gifts anyway, which is why I wonder if it's worth it for someone to go out of their way to throw another shower.
It's interesting with responses already that some really view showers for mom and dad, and others for baby.