Monday Minute: Sand box fun

Drew and I have been enjoying spending afternoon/evening time outside. I can either water and tend to my plants (and chop back rose bushes while discovering SNAKES!), or sit, rest, and relax while he plays. Either way he is happily entertained, as you will see.

The videos are kind of boring, but I am always so fascinated watching him in the act of discovery and learning how things work.





P.S. Here are my snakes...

Yes, snakes, as in 2. And I happened to be standing almost directly on top of them. It was only after stepping back that I noticed the two snakes almost exactly where I had been standing. Joy.

Wordless Wednesday: Making pizza

Eerie Email

As has happened too many times in the past, a day or two after I start worrying or wondering about something or other to do with Drew I get an email from Baby Center or What to Expect with answers to my questions. This morning's email: Toddler Discipline. It's almost eerie, really.

http://www.whattoexpect.com/blogs/theycallmemommy/toddler-discipline-mamas-bad-behavior

So, basically sounds like we're right on track. The tantrums haven't really been my big concern because, as the article says, I know that it just comes with the territory. It's been the purposeful defiant behavior that's been bothering me, but I think if I keep on keeping on, laying down steady ground rules, and sticking to them, we'll head in a positive direction.

Terrible twos already?

Help!

We're getting awfully close to those terrible twos and some rebellion, independence, and boundary testing are already setting in. I can't believe how frustrated I'm getting already knowing that this is only the beginning. 

Most of the time Drew really is a good kid.... but these are some of the things that have been irking me lately:

• refusal to come when asked and stubbornness in doing/complying with simple tasks (like tooth brushing or diaper changes)
• collapsing when I pick him up to do what I asked (yes, melting cat style). This is already a strain on me physically and I can only imagine as the belly grows.
• pretending to hit me when angry with me. He doesn't actually hit me, though part of that might be my own quick reflexes, but most of the time it's an "air threat"- he limply throws his arm in the air towards me.
• kicking me during diaper changes. Not hard kicks, but "point being made" presses against my chest and belly. This is particularly difficult because it tends to be a game with Jason and Drew, but when done with me the tight-lipped, rebellious face says it is not for fun. With a growing belly this is absolutely not acceptable. I've asked Jason to stop the "game", and he has, but what makes this particularly difficult is the fact that we're in the middle of a diaper change and all I want to do is get a diaper on his bottom instead of being interrupted to deal with discipline. Naked bottom time-out?
• a LOT of temper tantrums. Most revolve around having to leave his blankie in his crib when he wakes up or not getting to watch Elmo. Others revolve around not getting a food or toy he wants. (No, we don't give in to the temper tantrums, but sometimes I wonder if that adds to their intensity because he KNOWS he's not going to get what he wants and he is truly that disappointed).

Case in point: yesterday Drew did not want to wait
for the pizza to cook

I can only imagine I'm going to get slaughtered in one direction or another with my following statements, but these are basically my current discipline beliefs:

1. I am not morally opposed to spanking. My sister and I were spanked occasionally growing up and I believe it did us no harm, and in fact probably did us some good. We were only spanked on very rare occasions (my mom tells me it may have been only 2 or 3 times total), and I cannot even remember the specifics of those occasions. We have grown into respectable, responsible, non-violent women.
2. I currently believe, however, that Drew is too young to be spanked. His mind can't currently comprehend the difference between a punishment and hitting out of anger. This belief was solidified recently when I witnessed a toddler hit his baby brother, to which the mother responded by hitting the toddler, to which the toddler responded by hitting the mother back (what does the mother do at that point? In this case she did nothing). Not a good cycle. If I want to teach him not to hit others, especially me, then how can I teach him that when I'm hitting him? (And if that is my belief, is spanking really ever okay?)
3. If spanking is used as a punishment, I believe it needs to be done separate from the punishable action, ie. the parent is not responding in anger. I think the offense and punishment need to be explained to the child. At this age, I believe Drew is too young both for understanding a detailed explanation of a punishment, as well as for connecting a punishment that is separated from the offending action by more than a few moments. If he refuses to listen to me this morning, I can't expect him to make the proper connection if I give him a punishment tonight. I think discipline needs to be fairly immediate at this age.
4. We are currently working with time-outs, but they don't seem to have a strong effect. Having plenty of child-care experience, from babysitting to nannying to working in a daycare to teaching elementary-age students, I have been around enough to feel time-outs really are ineffective.

My first issue with time-outs is he does not get the concept of "sit there until I tell you that you can move" (or even "sit there until this timer goes off, or until all the glitter in this jar settles). Nor does he get the concept of "if you move, I'm adding another minute to your time out" as he has no concept of time. Therefore time-outs are conducted by him sitting facing a blank wall and me standing with my back to him, the back of my legs holding him in place. I count to 90 (a minute for every year of age- in this case a year and a half), sometimes out loud, sometimes silently.

Second, as time goes on, he seems more and more unfazed by the time-outs (my general complaint with time-outs in general). He used to cry, or at least look pouty when put in time out. Now he sits there and simply tries to peer up at me, or find something on the floor to play with. He also frequently immediately returns to the offending action (this has resulted in repeated time outs one after the other, which also seem ineffective).

I feel powerless sometimes to get him to cooperate. I simply want to teach him to respect us and to listen to what we say. I want to teach him that we will not repeat ourselves 5 million times, or even 5 times, before an expected action is completed (or a behavior is stopped). Maybe it's too early to worry so much, but I also feel this is the age when he's learning exactly where his boundaries are. How do I teach him those boundaries right now if one punishment is too severe and the other ineffective?

I know tones and looks can have a powerful effect, but when a certain stubbornness sets in no mom-look or voice seems to get the point across.

Some small things I do that I *think* work... when I do ask him to come, if he doesn't come I tell him "Drew, I asked you to come" (with that special tone and arched eyebrow) and give only a few seconds before I get up and get him myself. In other words, I don't allow my own laziness stop me from making sure he fulfills the requested task. Along similar lines I physically walk him through requested tasks such as tooth brushing (making him hold the brush himself when he refuses to sit still or open his mouth for me) or picking up the dog food that he spread piece by piece across the floor (I know he understood the concept of cleaning it up because he happily picked up a few pieces, just simply refused to do the rest- and, in this case, he was not being punished for putting the food on the floor, I simply asked him to help clean it up and expected follow-through).

Does anyone have any suggested tactics? A better way to make time-out work? Something other than time-outs? Thoughts on spanking?

Monday Minute: More Drew and his cat

Eep! I guess I took too long of a break from blogging? My blogger has changed a lot, so please excuse me while I try to navigate these new settings...

Today's post is an addition to a very old post about Drew and his cat Rico. It still stands that Rico is about the only pet that will put up with Drew. In fact, just today Drew was squealing angrily at Lucy because she kept running away while he was trying to pet her (I tried to explain that the squealing was not helping...).

This cat.... well, he puts up with an awful lot. What I love the most is his irritated, ears-back look, then when Drew leaves him he perks his head up like "hey, where are you going?"



(You also gotta love the plea to watch Elmo, and when I turn him down, what does he do? Turns to Daddy.... :P)

Twins?

I purposely held off on a Monday Minute post today hoping I'd have some exciting pics to share! And I do!

I had my first ultrasound today! Due to the fact I look like this at only 12 weeks pregnant...

I seriously don't know what's up
with the "shape" of my belly this
time around.

I was REALLY relieved to find out that I am not expecting twins. Just triplets. JUST KIDDING! (April Fools?)

I got to see our new little "Floodling" (I need a new nickname this time around! Any suggestions?). I did say "I". Unfortunately, due to a VERY bad case of preggo brain this time around, I brought us to the wrong location for the ultrasound appointment today. Actually, I shouldn't even say "wrong location" because that implies that I went to the right practice, wrong building (like Duluth vs. Lawrenceville). I went to the completely wrong practice. In my defense, one is named "Atlanta Maternal Fetal Medicine" and the other "Maternal Fetal Specialists". Both have locations in Gwinnett, among others. And the websites for both look strangely similar...

As far as I know, and can tell, they are NOT related.

Anywho... Jason already had limited time before having to go to work, so having to push the appointment back by half an hour plus driving to another hospital meant he wasn't able to stay.

BUT, because of that, the ultrasound tech was super sweet and printed literally TONS of photos. She even did 3D ultrasound photos! She pulled off the long sheet of prints and said "here, put these in your purse quickly, before the doctor comes in. We did NOT do this." :) She was SO sweet!

Our new little one was a bouncy little thing. S/he would hardly sit still long enough for the tech to do the measurements. I told her, "I know I'm crazy, but I swear I'm already feeling little flutters." She said "I'm not surprised- with the location of your placenta at the back of the uterus, and the amount this little one is moving, you probably are!"

So here's Drew's little brother or sister at 12 weeks, 2 days.

3D Ultrasound. Thumb sucker already?
(Tech says no, not this early, just hands by face)

The typical, kind of creepy, frontal view

The not-so-typical, but also kind of creepy, 3D side view

I have to say it is actually quite amazing how similar the baby looks to the 12 week drawing below. Guess we're right on target!

Wordless Wednesday: Young love

Monday Minute: Happy Easter!

I have quite a few videos. Some of them longer than a minute. Some of them shorter. All of them are really cute (in my opinion). You can pick and choose or enjoy them all!

First off, Easter morning Jason was still in WI so I wanted to get a video of Drew discovering his Easter basket. I stupidly believed he would be most excited about his Elmo (he has been obsessed and loves ANYTHING with Elmo on it). Little did I realize how important sugar is...



And yes, my "WHAT!?" was me trying to get him to repeat "Elmo" loud enough for the video. Sorry. I sound very silly. (Really, I sound silly in most all videos)

He DID enjoy his Elmo enough to want him to join him for breakfast. He even tried to feed Elmo banana. In this video he gives Elmo a nice kiss.



Then, after we picked Jason up from the airport, we had an Easter Egg hunt (we had to miss the one at church in order to get to the airport in time). I was impressed at how easily Drew got the concept. We had a lot of fun! (And Drew really enjoyed the candy).





(Please excuse the mess that is our backyard)

And a few shots for those of you (like me, usually) who are at work, or on a phone and can't watch the videos..

All dressed up for church!

I can't for the life of me get this boy to smile for the camera anymore!

Oooo, what's inside the egg?

Yum!

Some help, Mom?

Bunny graham crackers! A perfect Easter snack!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!

Daddy. Zzzz.

I'm not sure if it's just his age, or the fact that I've been able to spend so much time with him this week, but I swear Drew is going through a growth spurt. Not a physical one, but a mental one. Earlier this week we were sitting on the couch "talking" and I couldn't get over how grown up he seems all of a sudden. I can't even explain exactly what it was that made me feel that way, but it was like it hit me that he's not a baby, and he really is on the verge of being a talking little boy.

Some observations:

He's starting to put words together. He has discovered Elmo on YouTube (yes, thanks to Mommy and Daddy :-/) and now he climbs in our laps and says "Elmo. Watch. Watch Elmo." He's also a fan of "eat _____" (fill in the blank with is current food obsession). He makes observations like "Lucy eatin." I also swear he has been saying "I want it!" which I really don't know where he learned (I mean, I don't imagine Jason or I saying that very often).

Along the same lines he seems to be discovering how to make a pronoun possessive. If he sees a picture of Jason he says "Daddy", but if he sees Jason's watch he says "Daddy. Zzzz". It's kind of funny because he pauses, then adds the s sound. When it comes to "Mommy's" stuff, he seems to be a little swifter with the s.

His vocabulary in general is skyrocketing and his favorite thing to do is label things. "Twee. Cwoud. Tah. Bow." (That would be tree, cloud, car, and ball). I'm shocked at his memory and how quickly he seems to pick up on new words. Just last night I taught him what a monkey says (oo oo ah ah). We've been doing a lot of animal sounds, but that was a new one. This morning he woke up, pointed to the monkey on his shirt and said "montey. Oo ah," with a huge grin.

While he was eating the other day he randomly started counting. "One, two, fwee, foh...". That's as far as he got, but seeing as we haven't actively tried to teach him to count I was rather impressed.

Drew found a picture of Jason on a Costco card. First he said "Daddy", then "head" (because all you can see is the head). Then he started naming other features- nose, eyes, lips. I said, "good, now where are YOUR lips?" I was actually testing to see if he'd get it because our game usually goes something like "good, those are Daddy's lips, where are Drew's lips?". Well, without missing a beat, Drew touched his own lips. Then I tried again and said "where are MY lips?" (instead of "Mommy's lips"). Again, he pointed right to my lips. We continued to play this game and he continued to get it right, even as I varied the order. I was surprised that, even though Jason and I too often refer to ourselves as "Mommy" and "Daddy" (as in I often say something like "Mommy's going to cook you an egg"), Drew's still picking up on I, you, etc.

My biggest surprise came yesterday. He was eating celery and hummus in the living room (which means he was licking hummus off of celery). Every ten seconds or so (seriously) he would shout "nummus! Pweeze!" (the "please" impressed me quite a bit, but that's not all). I would reload his celery and bring it back to him. Finally, tired of going back and forth, I said "that's it. Hummus is all done." It didn't even occur to me until a good 5 minutes later that he never asked for more! He listened, he understood, and he accepted it! Wow!

But that's still not all! After he had sufficiently finished licking the last of the hummus and nibbling the celery he came wandering into the kitchen where I was cleaning. I said "where's your celery [knowing it was on the couch]? Can you go get it and put it in the trashcan?" He walked right into the living room, got the celery, then
walked right back to the kitchen and put it in the trash. He's following directions! Obviously, this is behavior I should expect, but seeing as he hasn't even been able to comprehend instructions yet, this was a pretty exciting step (because it means I CAN start expecting him to listen and DO what I ask him to do).

In general he seems to get "conversation". He sits in my lap and "talks" to me, then looks right up in my face and smiles as he listens to my response. He's starting to understand humor and playing pretend. As I've said a million times before, it is such a privilege to watch him grow and change and I will never get over how fascinating, marvelous, and miraculous it all is. I thank God every day for the opportunity to raise and nurture this child.

Some Spring Break

It is a very rare Spring Break that we don't go somewhere, at least for a few days. But this year, to save money (and energy!) we decided to stay put. I had some cleaning I wanted to get done, and a lot of rest to catch up on! Turns out it was a very good thing we didn't go anywhere because our trip probably would have ended up cancelled or cut short.

My break started with a stomach bug. For Drew that is. In fact, I got to head home early from work on Friday because Drew was throwing up and we couldn't send him to school (which was actually closed that day) or to our back-up option, Stacey (not going to send a kid who's throwing up to a pregnant woman... well, a pregnant woman who's not mom). As you read on Monday he continued to throw up for several days, finally ending on Sunday. That is until a recurrence Wednesday night that prompted a Thursday morning pediatrician visit. Verdict: Drew's stomach is still sensitive (as often happens after viruses) and he also has a cough and an irritated throat (from the pollen?). Treatment: probiotics, avoid dairy for a few days (for the cough and tummy), and start using his inhaler again.

Thursday night, yes, the very day we were at the doctor, I started getting more and more concerned about Drew's eyes. He had been complaining about them and rubbing them all week (and this had been mentioned to the two doctors he saw), but all of a sudden there was green goop and yellow crusties. His eyes weren't pink, but some internet research (always the best place for a  hypochondriac to get answers) told me it could still be pink eye. After some Facebook discussions, and a call to the pediatrician this morning, it was determined that it is likely also due to pollen (gotta love Georgia). Actually I haven't seen any gunk at all today, so that's a very good sign.

On top of all of that Jason's grandmother passed away earlier this week. This was surprising and sad news. The funeral is today so Jason made last-minute arrangements to go. We will miss him Sunday morning for Easter, but we are thankful that timing made it possible for him to go.

Needless to say, between a sick toddler, doctor's visits, and an already exhausted mom who is currently "single-momming it", I was not nearly as productive this break as I was the last time I stayed home (TWO years ago when I was pregnant with Drew!). I DID get a mini veggie garden planted; I wasn't nearly as ambitious this year as I was last year, but I have a suspicion that come July/August I'm not going to want to be doing much in the garden.

It's been a crumby Spring Break, but to tell the truth I'm actually very thankful all of this happened now. Taking time off work really isn't easy, especially when I'm trying to safeguard as many sick days as possible for all of my pregnancy appointments. I would be a mess right now if all of this had happened during a normal week. So, even though I'm wishing I could get an extension on my break, I'll be satisfied knowing that I did get some good rest, and some quality time with Drew (more on that later).

The Details

Perhaps you've wanted to know a little more since my big wordless announcement?

I am saying my due date is November 1st. Yes, "saying". That means I'm not fully telling the truth. If you remember anything about Drew's arrival you may be able to figure out which direction I'm fudging. I promise it's not by much. Just enough for a little less pressure.

So far I'm feeling fine. Wiped out. Pooped. Exhausted. Wanting to fall asleep on my feet. But fine. In other words, I have been thankful to, once again, miss out on the morning sickness. Perhaps it's another boy, or maybe it's just good genes. Either way I'm not complaining. (Until the last couple of days that is- but that could very well be the "stomach bug" Drew apparently caught).

Yes, we've told Drew, but no, he doesn't get it. Maybe when my belly gets a bit larger...

Speaking of large bellies, is it seriously this big already?? I know they say it pops faster the second time around, but I still wasn't expecting this. I am embarrassed to admit that I've broken out a few pairs of maternity pants. Partially for comfort, and partially for looks. While I can finagle my normal pants to work, they make me look awkwardly fat-but-pregnant-but-maybe-just-fat and it's a look I don't really appreciate. The maternity pants give a smooth, round look, rather than a lumpy, bumpy look, so I feel like they highlight "possible baby belly" instead of "too many donuts belly".

I am surprised how many people quickly ask "do you want a boy or a girl this time?". Obviously, we will be happy either way. I would love for Drew to have a little brother to play with, just like I had my sister. And I have a hard time imagining anything but boys now. But I think a girl would be fun. I always imagined myself with a girl when I was younger. I've been told by no less than 5 people that they are "secretly" hoping for a girl (P.S. It's not really a secret when you tell me!). Wondering if this is some sort of big prediction, or if I'm going to let a lot of people down...

Also, working with international coworkers makes for interesting pregnancy conversation since cultural norms (and taboos) are a little different. After my announcement one coworker said "Oh! I saw you were getting FAT  [motioned with wide arms]  and I thought 'why is she getting fat? She is so thin, she should not be getting fat now'".  Another coworker later, in reference to the pregnancy, asked "are you putting on weight? I think you are putting on weight." (Ummm... no, actually, not yet really. But thanks for mentioning it). Sigh... I think I'm going to have some fun...

So, that's the scoop for now. I will keep you updated with pics, ultrasounds, and all that good stuff (P.S. No ultrasound yet, which is crazy because at this point with Drew I had already had at least 3. But since I haven't had issues, and since, according to my new doc, "it's only necessary for dating, and you know your last menstrual period so we know the date" I don't need one until 12 weeks. Sad.)

2 weeks ago @ 8 weeks

Monday Minute: Cooties

Drew has had some sort of stomach bug for the last three days. Starting Thursday night/Friday morning he has thrown up once or twice, maybe three times, every day (except today, thankfully). It has been very strange because it hasn't been like the last stomach bug he got where he threw up non-stop over the course of a few hours. This has been very minimal, but has lasted so long. On top of that he has been acting like his normal, happy, playful self (until yesterday morning, which is when we decided it was time to go to an Immediate Care Clinic). After two doctor's opinions, and the fact that he seems to be feeling better, I am somewhat convinced that maybe it was indeed a stomach virus, and am hoping we're on the upside of things now. Especially since I don't know how much longer Drew will put up with crackers, toast, bananas, and applesauce. (He will be happy to put up with popsicles though).

Anyways, this video was taken on Friday, the first day of his "illness". I was giving him a popsicle to try and get some fluids in him, and I was trying to catch a video to show my mom how playful and happy he seemed. I also wanted to show off the awesome contraption that my mom got him- a popsicle holder! It catches the drips! AND you can flip it over and it can hold an ice cream cone! No more sticky hands! (Or Mommy having to hold the popsicle stick). I especially love that it can be set down.

I also managed to catch Drew showing off some colors (and me showing off the fact that sometimes I get distracted by video production instead of paying 100% attention to what my child is doing/saying- such as "yes that's blue" when he's pointing to red).