Update

I know I've been quiet lately. Here's a little update on what's been going on around here...

School started back in August. It's been a bit crazy in my department. I've mentioned a few times that there have been some big changes, including layoffs and basically my department being shut down. My position is okay (for now, at least, though it will continue to be a fight), but, as usually happens with any downsizing, I've been rather swamped trying to cover for the deficits. I've been traveling to schools to help with testing, but also trying to keep up with the loads of calls and emails flooding in. Now that the school year is in full swing, though, things are slowing down, which is nice, but also not a good thing for me right now.

I also caught a fun cold which turned into a sinus infection. When you're pregnant there is so little you can take, not only to combat the actual infection, but just to make yourself feel better in general, so I was pretty miserable for a while. It actually took a LOT out of me. Even when I started feeling better I was just exhausted. I'm still recovering from the cough that always comes after the infection. I have a CF appointment coming up and am hoping it hasn't effected me too much- my doctor is a bit "trigger happy" and very quick to recommend IV antibiotics and more intense treatments as opposed to trying other routes first. I understand my health is just as important to keep baby healthy, but I've also proven several times already that given a little time and alternative methods, I can easily pull my lung function back up without stronger interventions.

Drew has being doing so much better with the potty training again. We've still had a few school accidents, but for the most part he's been staying dry. We reverted back to the "bottomless" method at home, which is what was recommended anyway. We had tried to do our own thing to get him ready for school, but it wasn't working. Since going back to bottomless he's been great, and even starting to stay dry at night again.

He's still a 2 year old so we're still dealing with stubbornness and tantrums, but the intensity that I saw at the beginning of the school year has settled down. I told Jason "he's finally like a normal 2 year old again!". I can't believe I'm excited about that.

He is talking so much these days. He loves to call people on the phone and ramble about random things. He likes to try to "show" things to the people on the phone, too. We were talking to Grandma the other day and Drew held the phone up to the car window and said "green trees, Grandma!". He tells me what he did at school each day (which pretty much consists of "played with so-and-so, and played with so-and-so, and so-and-so"), and he loves to talk about where everyone is and what they are doing (Aunt Laura- I have a video to share with you of him telling me that you're in bed... I have no idea where that came from!)

A photo to break up the monotony of this post
My boys cheering on Wisconsin

The pregnancy is going well, though I have to admit I have never felt so pregnant in my life. Yes, that includes when I was nearly 42 weeks pregnant with Drew. I am so tired and so so SO sore! I'm starting to feel like I can hardly move because my hips and lower back feel like they are falling apart. I know a large part of it is that I haven't been nearly as active during this pregnancy. Cassie, Stacey, and I have been doing pregnancy yoga still (yes, Stacey too- there's some pretty decent stuff), but I haven't been as good about getting out and walking. I know it will help. When I was pregnant with Drew I just didn't get to that "I'm so uncomfortable" point. But I've still got 2 months to go and I'm already there. :-/

I've finally more or less decided to change my "vocabulary" when asked when I'm due. I was SO tired of the bulging eyes and startled comments when I said I was due in early November. By saying late October, even though it's really only a week difference, it seems to have a completely different effect. For the first time I've had a few people tell me, "you look great! You're not very big at all!". Still, at work the other day people were fussing over me and I said "guys, you realize I still have 2 months left, right?". They were more than a little shocked. And today I had a guy walk past me and say "well, you look just about ready to pop!" to which I responded "in about 2 months!". Sigh....

Really, the reason for the "lie" in the first place was to take some pressure off myself. Sure enough, the people at work, when told I still have 2 months left, told me, "no way! That baby's coming early!". That's exactly what happened with Drew, and that's exactly what made it so frustrating to go 12 days overdue. EVERYONE told me that there was no way I was going to my due date with Drew. He certainly proved everyone wrong. And as much as I had tried to ignore people, it still got into my head, and I don't want to do that again. By telling people I'm due in early November not only do I take some pressure off myself, but I've also started believing it. I'm convinced this is a November baby.

Besides the whines and complaints about aches, pains, and my size, things have been going very well. Floodlet is growing and kicking (and Drew will tell you this, after he points out where his baby brother is), and I've still been lucky to avoid a lot of typical pregnancy complaints. I'm seeing a midwife practice instead of a typical Ob/Gyn. They are much MUCH more natural birth friendly (in fact, they encourage it). I really like all the ladies and feel very comfortable there. My only complaint is that the head midwife hugs me at the end of each appointment. Not only do I feel strange being hugged by my "doctor", but you all ought to know by now my feelings on hugs...

Stacey snapped those pretty photos of Jason, Drew, and me that I posted on Wednesday and today Cassie and I got together and did some maternity shots for each other. So there will be more to come. :) Let me go ahead and say that toddlers are NOT cooperative when it comes to photo shoots. Even if you just try to play and not pose... Drew knew the instant that camera was out and clicking that he should NOT smile or be cute in any way. :-/

In general we're finally starting to act like we're going to have another baby in the house. I feel like I've been such a procrastinator this time. Seriously- I just signed up for birth class last week. And before you say anything, yes, I know I've done this before, but considering how little I remember about when Drew was a baby, I certainly don't remember enough about labor and delivery.  Still, we're taking a one day class instead of a 4 week one. We also signed up for a water birth class since the hospital actually offers that option, but you have to be "certified".  I'm not sure if that's the route I'd like to go, but I'd love to learn more and have the option available. The baby's room is finally painted as well, thanks to my mom. We're doing a fun alphabet nursery based around this sheet. The walls are more or less that light blue/teal color- very pretty! :) I've started picking up and making a few things for the walls, but hopefully I'm going to have some help from a friend to do something really fun on the walls! Pictures will, of course, be posted.

And I suppose if I'm going to do this much updating, I should put in a little piece about Jason, though I try to leave him out of this for the most part (he's prefers not to be online). He's doing well. Recovered from the appendix surgery. Work has been busy as you can imagine a golf course is in the summer. And his at home work has been keeping him busy, too. I'm certainly looking forward to the days getting shorter so we have him around more often.

Alright, is that enough to make up for my absence around here? I have a video for Monday, but other than that I make no promises. Keeping up with everything has been rough. And I think I'm allowed that. :)

Were you praying?

I think you were!

Funny: I set an alarm in my phone to call my boss today so I could get a little more direct information about what is going on. My alarm went off while I was driving home from a doctor's appointment so I hit snooze for an hour. About 20 minutes after returning home, however, my boss called me!

I still don't have solid information, but currently it looks like I will be staying where I am. Unfortunately many of my coworkers have been laid off, though, so please continue to pray for them and their families.

I have been asked to come in and do a little work in preparation for the changes that will be coming, which is also good news. We had counted on a little extra income from me doing part-time work over the summer, which was canceled.

Thank you for your prayers! The power of prayer is truly amazing. :)

Déjà vu

As this second pregnancy progresses I've noticed some eerie similarities to the first. I don't mean in my symptoms, either.

1. Jason was injured/ill
When pregnant with Drew, Jason had a wreck on his motorcycle. Thankfully it was nothing serious and required only an after-hours doctor visit to treat some road rash, but it was quite scary. This time around he had an emergency appendectomy.

2. Good friends lost a parent
As I sat at a memorial service I realized that the last time I went to one was when I was pregnant with Drew (and any I attended before that I was too young to remember).

3. My job went up in the air
In the last month of my first pregnancy I found out that the school I had taught at for several years, to which I was very attached, would no longer be able to keep me on as a Spanish teacher. I was devastated and proceeded to have to endure interviews only days before my due date.

Looks like I may be there again... I have no official word yet, but I've spoken with a few people and it looks like our registration center will be shutting down. I hesitated to even post this as I really don't have any official news, but I wanted to request prayers.

When I lost my position teaching elementary Spanish I was truly devastated, but I trusted that God had a plan for me. I accepted a position at a high school even though teaching high school was the last thing I had ever wanted to do again; I simply trusted that if that was where God wanted me, that He would get me through. A series of events ended up leading me, instead, to my current position where I've worked for a year and a half. I love it dearly. I have thanked God many times, knowing that He was behind every detail that landed me there. It has been a perfect fit for my skills, interests, and needs.

So all I can say is I know that trusting God's plan will put me on the right path, but it doesn't mean I want to be here again. I am requesting prayers specifically that:

a) Our center is able to remain open (and that many who currently will be losing their jobs will not have to lose them!)
b) If God has other plans, that I will feel His hand guiding me and trust in the outcome. (And that God helps to provide for my coworkers who will lose their jobs).

I should note that, like last time, I have a signed contract so *thankfully* either way I have a job. It's just hard to let go of something you love (or even to imagine letting it go).

P.S. Should I consider not getting pregnant again? ;)

Monday Minute: Chores

Drew has to earn his keep around here...



Seriously, though, I think that dish will be very clean! And not only that, but he cleans up his drips! Think he's ready to move on to laundry?

God doesn't call the qualified...

I just had to share God's awesomeness with you tonight. If that's not your thing, you can come visit me again later. :)

I just had an incredibly fun evening and I have to share.... but I will start from the beginning.

In the fall last year our church did a Wednesday night bible study called "Experiencing God". I really enjoyed the series as it helped me to grow in my relationship with God and to start really listening to His voice in my life. By the end of the course I felt God was pulling me towards something... something to do with teaching, but I wasn't sure what.

Then, in January this year, our pastor did a kind of "State of the Church" address and spoke about various things he would like to see happen in our church. One of those things was an adult ESL (English as a Second Language) ministry. I immediately knew that's what I needed to do. I am an ESL teacher (technically ESOL, but that's just politically correct jargon), after all. And I speak Spanish. Of course I could help with an ESL program! So I put a little check mark on the sheet in the bulletin and put it in the offering plate.

A few weeks later Pastor Bob came to me and told me there was some interest among the church members to help with an ESL program, but he needed someone to lead it. Would I be interested?

Ummmm.... me? ME?

I am NOT a leader. Some of you might argue with me here, but I simply, truly am not. Here's why:

1. I am not confident. In other words I am shy. Organizing a group of people terrifies me. Especially  if it involves giving other people directions. Or worse- making phone calls!

2. I am not a decision maker. Grocery shopping? It's my worst nightmare. I agonize over even the simplest decisions. So how am I supposed to make decisions like- what days to hold class? What time? Where? How??

3. It's just not natural for me. Some people are natural-born leaders, like my dad. He knows how to manage a group of people, how to take command, how to make decisions (and good ones). He does it with confidence and ease. Well... I didn't get those genes from him.

So, when Pastor Bob asked me if I would more or less head this ministry my first instinct was "NO!!"

Then I remembered our Experiencing God class, which told us more or less this:

In other words, if you feel God is calling you, trust that He will give you the abilities you need to succeed.

So, I took a plunge and said "okay" (and said a little prayer at the same time).

It's only March and here we are- last week we did registration, and tonight was our first official class. Everything went SO smoothly. We have 12 students right now, which is pretty great for being such a small church and just getting started. In fact, it's a perfect number to get our feet wet as we sort out exactly what we're doing. I left tonight feeling not only pleased that everything went so well, but actually excited about teaching again, excited about connecting with these people, and excited about the work that God is doing in my life that I can now share.

I really believe God gives us things that are bigger than us, bigger than our own abilities, to prove that it isn't in our power that we accomplish anything, but in His.

My "unlucky" day

I do not believe in superstitions. I do not fear black cats, broken mirrors, or Friday the 13th. In fact, I fully believe any unluckiness that results from any of these is a matter of perception- a person is more likely to note bad or unlucky things if they are expecting them. But I do have to admit that, after a long and frustrating morning, when I heard on the radio that it was Friday the 13th, my mind kind of went "oh.... that makes sense."

My "unlucky" day...

Unluckily I woke up half an hour before my alarm went off, stressed and in a bad mood because of the book I'm reading (Jane Eyre). I could not go back to sleep as I kept trying to imagine ways the book might redeem itself.

As I got ready to leave for work, I realized the jogging stroller was unluckily not in the van where it needed to be for an afternoon run. Putting it in the van, unluckily, required me to move a vehicle and to dig heavy things out of the van (which, unluckily, were supposed to be dropped off somewhere else the day before).

Unluckily, after I heaved the large jogging stroller into the van I realized it was blocking the outlet I use to plug in my compressor (yes, my van has an outlet, and yes, I do meds on my way to work). Plugging in the compressor required me to do a juggling act in the unluckily frigid morning.

I was finally ready to go and I turned on the van to unluckily find the "low fuel" light on. I drove to Shell where we had a $50 gift card to find unluckily it was not open yet. (Jason did not realize I would be taking the van and had planned to fill it on his way to work).

After fueling (in the frigid morning, remember?) I drove to work to find there was unluckily more traffic than there ever is on Friday.

I decided to grab some Panera and they did, luckily, have my favorite Cinnamon Crunch bagel for breakfast. I also luckily had a gift card. I pulled out and headed towards my school. Upon arriving at school I realized my hands were cold, and upon searching for my (new touchscreen sensitive!) gloves, found they were no longer with me. I realized I must have left them unluckily at Panera. I drove back (already late for work) and unluckily they were not inside. Luckily, though, I found them in the parking lot.

While driving back to work I got a text from my fellow tester saying unluckily she had pink eye and would not be there. I knew that we unluckily had a large number of refugees scheduled for the day, but thought "that's okay, I can just get Ms. __ to help me with testing". I then received a call from another coworker that she was going to be out and, unluckily, needed Ms. ___ to cover the front.

This is when I heard that it was Friday the 13th.

The rest of my day proceeded in a similar fashion. Unluckily registration was very busy (in addition to the refugees we already had scheduled), and unluckily all of the students spoke a lot of English (which means testing takes a loooooong time). Unluckily I had decided to buy lunch (I almost always bring lunch) so, instead of being able to heat up my lunch and simply eat it while testing, I had nothing to eat and no time to go get food. Unluckily I finished testing at 3:00, had not eaten (hadn't even peed) and there was no point in getting food at that point since I leave at 3:30.

On the way home, I unluckily realized it was still frigid outside and jogging with Drew was not an option (so the 20 minute battle to put the stroller in the car was pointless!).

Luckily, however, Stacey and I decided a warm beverage was in order and I was able to release my day  with a good friend over a nice cup of hot chocolate at Starbucks (where I luckily had a free beverage coupon!)

It is definitely all in perspective. Upon reviewing my day I remembered more and more things that had been unlucky. But regardless of whether or not yesterday was Friday the 13th, I'm pretty sure it would have been a rotten day.

Lucky me! I tested 13 students yesterday!

A day in the life of...

Maybe you've noticed my absence?  Perhaps a little peek into a day in the life of Diane might give you a clue why...

1. Wake up at 5:45
2. Shower, dress, make up my face
3. Make and eat breakfast
4. Lug all my stuff to the car (2 compressors, lunch, water bottles, purse, etc.)
5. Hit the road by 6:45
6. Drive while sitting in traffic and doing meds
7. Arrive at work (by 7:30)
8. Run around at work
9. Leave work (3:30) and drive to daycare to pick up Drew
10. Return home with Drew (by 4:30)
11. Lug in all my stuff AND Drew's stuff while leaving car running for Drew
12. Bring in Drew (doing this the other way around results in ear piercing and heart breaking cries)
13. Feed us a snack
14. Drew plays (aka screams because he doesn't want to be put down) while I put away all our stuff that was lugged inside
15. Both play together
16. Start making dinner (somewhere between 5:45 and 6:00)
17. Eat that dinner (oh wait, I mean pick up the dinner Drew throws on the floor while I try to eat and ignore the screaming)
18. Clean up the baby (more screaming)
20. Play with Drew or bathe Drew
21. Put him to bed (8:00)
22. Change into PJs and wash my face (but my night's not over!)
23. Pack my lunch for the next day
24. Wash dishes, high chair tray, bib, counters, floor (well, the sticky stuff Lucy didn't get...)
25. Put away everything else from the day's events
26. Do meds
27. Say hi to Jason for 15 minutes when he gets home from work
28. Go to bed (I don't even look at the time by this point)

I don't write this to complain. I am happy. Yes, I wish my schedule wasn't so packed (and rigid!), and I wish Jason and I worked similar schedules so we'd both be home in the evenings, but really we've got it pretty good. Our awkward work schedule (me working all day, Jason closing) means Drew gets a lot of time at home with at least one of us (actually, mostly with only one of us...). He gets some social interaction and learning time at preschool for about 4 hours, 4 days a week, which is great! But I still feel like he's being raised by his parents and not by a "stranger". It also saves us money (which we don't seem to have a lot of... ever...).

So you'll have to excuse my absence. I get about 40 minutes of "me" time a day (see #26) and I use that time to browse the internet while allowing my brain to chill. Trying to download my swirling thoughts into words most evenings seems almost impossible... worse, even, the thought of tracking down my camera, USB cord, and downloading/sorting/editing photos to post.

I do have a few things I want to write about, though, and some pics and videos to post, and some free time right now, so perhaps you will see a bit more from me this week.... but no promises.

On the edge

Unfortunately we're not talking Lady Gaga's kind of "on the edge".... we're talking on the edge of going crazy... or having a complete and utter meltdown kind of edge. One or the other.

These last two weeks have been a lot of fun, but they have been so totally and completely exhausting that I'm not even sure what to do with myself.

Let's see... Tuesday (like two weeks ago Tuesday) I was cleaning the house because family was coming to town, Wednesday was Drew's birthday, Thursday was his one-year photo shoot (have you seen Cassie's gorgeous photos?) and packing to head to the lakehouse, Friday I was preparing for Drew's bigger-than-I-had-kinda-planned-on bash, Saturday was the big party, Sunday we packed up and headed home from the lakehouse, Monday Stacey and I ran the Peachtree Road Race 10K, Tuesday I was packing for Chicago, Wednesday we flew to Chicago, Thursday we drove to Wisconsin and back, Friday we spent the day in the ER (poor Drew caught a nasty stomach bug!), Saturday we spent the day with a recovering baby, Sunday me, Jason, my mom, and dad all got sick with that bug, then today, Monday, I flew home (alone!) with Drew (Jason had already flown home on Saturday).

It would be nice if I had a day or two to recover from all of that, but I will be up bright and early to head back to work tomorrow, and work will be a mad house.  Maybe you think I'm just being all "woe is me" right now?  I got a call from work today asking me if I could stay late tomorrow because it was CRAZY today. Our office has been closed the last two weeks so there are hordes of impatient, irritated people waiting to register their students for the upcoming school year (which starts the second week of August!).

And I won't even be able to help them out tomorrow because I have CF appointment after work (which will take even longer than if I had stayed late; I've already griped about how long these appointments are). Between sheer exhaustion and the stomach bug I'm not sure that lung function or weight will be where they need to be.

And then, as if that wasn't enough to drive a woman off a cliff, Drew has been battling me every. single. meal. He hardly eats. He hardly drinks. I'm worried sick about him getting proper nutrition and hydration, especially after that horrible bug. I would like to think he's just recovering and his stomach isn't quite back to normal, but this has really been going on for a couple of weeks. It's just gotten worse. I presume part of it IS the recovering from the bug, and another part is the picky toddler years, but.... I just don't know what to do. It's brought me to tears the past 3 nights. I've totally given up on the vegetable battle for now, I'm just trying to get him to eat and drink. Period.

Sigh........ I apologize for the gripe fest, but sometimes a girl has just gotta let it out. Like I said above, the past two weeks have been fun (minus the stomach bug part), they've just been exhausting.

I can at least say I am thankful for two things, 1) we left the house in decent condition before we left (I hate returning to a mess) and 2) we also did every single piece of laundry before we left. On top of that I returned with a suitcase full of clean clothes (thanks to that wonderful bug). Two less things to worry about!

Hopefully I will be posting some pictures of our wonderful adventures, but don't expect too much from me anytime soon!

Catching some Zzzzzs

Is that not the cutest ever? Not sure how he ended up sleeping like that, but I LOVE it! <3

Things around here have been... exhausting. I find myself feeling very overwhelmed most of the time and just don't know what to do. Now that we've finished the half marathon, though, I have a little time back in my life. Perhaps that coupled with some beach time next week during Spring Break will be enough to recharge me and get me through to summer.

I did have a good weekend though and got to catch up a little on some rest. The fact that I did not have to run for 2 + hours either day helped, a LOT! Also, my parents were briefly in town and took Drew to the lakehouse Friday night so I got to sleep in on Saturday morning. Unfortunately I didn't get to sleep as late as I would have liked because I kept waking up feeling like I needed to do something. Just as I would drift off I would think "oh no! I need to....." and realize there was nothing I needed to do. Funny how that works. This morning, however, though we didn't sleep in, Jason and I did go back to bed while Drew took his morning nap. We slept almost 2 hours! I haven't done that in TOO long! I used to be known for my napping skills (haha, skills?) but I just don't get the chance to anymore. So many people tell you to nap when the baby naps, but you HAVE to eat, and showers are somewhat necessary, and if you're me, meds have to fit in there somewhere too.

Oh well... Spring Break is only one week away, and then you will definitely find me re-perfecting those nap skills!