Again

Goodness gracious... there has been so much going on I don't even know where to start. With colds, stomach bugs, crazy weather, and everything else, it kind of feels like there's been a lot of chaos around here. And it's going to get a bit worse before it gets better, it looks like. 

I had a CF appointment earlier this week and, despite having fended off the colds that all the boys suffered from (or so I thought), my lung function had dropped. Like, drastically dropped. In retrospect I shouldn't have been so shocked; we have an upcoming ski trip booked for which I had already planned to just stay at the cabin with the kiddos because I "don't have the energy to put on all that gear". But still, I've been working very hard on my health lately, so the large drop was an unpleasant surprise.

In addition to that, I already had a sinus surgery scheduled for Wednesday next week. This is one of the puzzle pieces that should hopefully help me start feeling better. I've been suffering from sinus infection after sinus infection so my CF doctor and I decided it was time for me to see an ENT again. After a scope and a CT scan, it was decided that surgery was the best option to clear out as much of the infection as possible. I had this same surgery done in 2008 and, again in retrospect, I realized that between 2006 and 2008 I had been admitted to the hospital for CF exacerbations 2 or 3 times. This past spring, April 2013, was the first time since then that I have had do IV antibiotics! I don't think sinus surgery is going to be a magical cure, but I am certainly hoping it will give me some relief.

So, what to do when lung function has dropped and you have an upcoming surgery? The answer was IVs. Again. As it is, the last time I had my sinus surgery they put me on IVs for 2 weeks as a precaution. I was trying to avoid that this time around (antibiotics as a "precaution" when I already have multiple antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria?), but it looks like it really is the best option. It's funny, but I kind of think the big drop was God's way of convincing me to go ahead with the IV antibiotics, otherwise I would have fought them. 

Aside from trying to use antibiotics judiciously, one of the biggest reasons I wanted to avoid IVs was because of the PICC line. I had a truly miserable experience the last time I had one put in (and the post I linked to doesn't even include the part about the fact that they couldn't even remove it because the doctor put it in too tight!). That, when I was already nervous, kind of created a climate that's perfect for a panic attack/nervous breakdown. I couldn't even listen to my doctor when he was trying to explain his plan because I started crying the moment he said "IV". I told him my concerns, and he thankfully agreed to schedule me to have the procedure done at a different hospital that's NOT a teaching hospital. My sister also sent me a sweet "Worry Healing Stone" in the shape of a heart to bring along with me to help me stay calm. Oh, and an awesome stash of candy!

I write all of this just to keep family informed, and to ask for prayers for the upcoming procedures (and recovery):

PICC line procedure tomorrow, 2/7

Sinus surgery next Wednesday, 2/12

General prayers for keeping up with the course of antibiotics

Thankful

There has been a Facebook trend for the past couple of years to post something you are thankful for each day in the month of November. I always mean to do it, but always seem to forget. Today, though, I want to talk about what I am thankful for, but it has nothing to do with it being the month of November.

Many of you know that before I was pregnant with Drew I had an early miscarriage. That left a lot of emotional "scar tissue", and for a woman who already worries too much, it made the beginning of both pregnancies very difficult. When pregnant with Drew I had a lot of early bleeding and was convinced I was miscarrying again, but God answered my prayers and brought my amazing little boy into this world. Again, early in my pregnancy with James, I had bleeding. You would think that after everything with Drew I would understand that it didn't necessarily mean anything, but it felt different, and once again I was sure I was miscarrying. I said many prayers and pleaded with God, and was very thankful that everything turned out just fine.

Later in the pregnancy an anatomy screening revealed an abnormality that easily meant nothing, but could possibly indicate a chromosomal defect such as Down Syndrome or Trisomy 18. All we could do was wait a few weeks for the baby to grow more so the doctors could see the heart, kidneys, hands, and feet better. I spent every single morning and night praying that God would make sure our baby was healthy. I prayed knowing that no matter what path God chose for us, He would see us through, but still prayed knowing that God does listen to our requests. At our follow-up ultrasound there was absolutely nothing that showed any issues, not even the abnormality that had first been noted. I said many thankful prayers once again.

I prayed for many things during the pregnancy, including that a low-lying placenta would move away from the cervix, that James would grow happy and healthy, and that I would have a safe and easy delivery. All my prayers were heard.

Today I come to God once again incredibly thankful for answered prayers. I have been a worried mess since Wednesday night, Halloween, when I thought I injured James' arm by accident. I took him to the doctor Thursday morning to find that I hadn't dislocated a shoulder, like I thought, but instead his forearm was broken! We then went to an orthopedic doctor for x-rays and found out that the arm was already healing, and had been for a while; the doctor suspected it was a birth injury. After coming home, though, I wasn't so sure. Sure, a birth injury sounded a whole lot better than "I broke my baby's arm", but it didn't seem to fit. I spent time looking at photos and the arm looked fine, up until a day or two before Halloween. I started to worry it wasn't a birth injury, but something that happened later. And, according to pictures, it appeared that it had, indeed, happened before Halloween night. If that was the case I worried it was a bone defect because how else do you unknowingly break a "bendy" baby's arm? I decided to see another orthopedic doctor for a second opinion, and proceeded to spend the whole weekend praying hard that my baby was healthy, happy, and perfect.

We saw the second doctor yesterday and she hardly had to look at the x-rays before she said that with the amount of healing she saw, she would easily say it was a birth injury. She said babies don't always show signs of broken bones the way adults do, and may even use the injured body part for a while before beginning to show any signs of an injury. The doctor said it's healing perfectly and there is no need for a cast or physical therapy (all of which the first doctor had said). She said that the x-rays show no reason to be concerned about bone structure, and he shows no other signs of common bone defects.

As if that wasn't enough, James also had his circumcision yesterday. Everything went very well, and we got to be in the room with him, cuddling him through the whole procedure (he hardly fussed at all!). But 4 hours after the procedure I realized he hadn't peed at all! Another hour passed and I really started to worry. I said to Jason, "when should I start to worry that he hasn't peed?" to which Jason replied "apparently an hour and a half ago." He knows me too well. Time kept passing and no pee so I sat and prayed. By the time I opened my eyes the little yellow stripe on James' diaper had turned blue, indicating that, sure enough, he had peed.

God truly is amazing and I can never be thankful enough knowing that I will never deserve the many blessings that God allows me to have. I am so thankful for both of my beautiful boys, and I hope to honor God in the way I raise them.

Update

I know I've been quiet lately. Here's a little update on what's been going on around here...

School started back in August. It's been a bit crazy in my department. I've mentioned a few times that there have been some big changes, including layoffs and basically my department being shut down. My position is okay (for now, at least, though it will continue to be a fight), but, as usually happens with any downsizing, I've been rather swamped trying to cover for the deficits. I've been traveling to schools to help with testing, but also trying to keep up with the loads of calls and emails flooding in. Now that the school year is in full swing, though, things are slowing down, which is nice, but also not a good thing for me right now.

I also caught a fun cold which turned into a sinus infection. When you're pregnant there is so little you can take, not only to combat the actual infection, but just to make yourself feel better in general, so I was pretty miserable for a while. It actually took a LOT out of me. Even when I started feeling better I was just exhausted. I'm still recovering from the cough that always comes after the infection. I have a CF appointment coming up and am hoping it hasn't effected me too much- my doctor is a bit "trigger happy" and very quick to recommend IV antibiotics and more intense treatments as opposed to trying other routes first. I understand my health is just as important to keep baby healthy, but I've also proven several times already that given a little time and alternative methods, I can easily pull my lung function back up without stronger interventions.

Drew has being doing so much better with the potty training again. We've still had a few school accidents, but for the most part he's been staying dry. We reverted back to the "bottomless" method at home, which is what was recommended anyway. We had tried to do our own thing to get him ready for school, but it wasn't working. Since going back to bottomless he's been great, and even starting to stay dry at night again.

He's still a 2 year old so we're still dealing with stubbornness and tantrums, but the intensity that I saw at the beginning of the school year has settled down. I told Jason "he's finally like a normal 2 year old again!". I can't believe I'm excited about that.

He is talking so much these days. He loves to call people on the phone and ramble about random things. He likes to try to "show" things to the people on the phone, too. We were talking to Grandma the other day and Drew held the phone up to the car window and said "green trees, Grandma!". He tells me what he did at school each day (which pretty much consists of "played with so-and-so, and played with so-and-so, and so-and-so"), and he loves to talk about where everyone is and what they are doing (Aunt Laura- I have a video to share with you of him telling me that you're in bed... I have no idea where that came from!)

A photo to break up the monotony of this post
My boys cheering on Wisconsin

The pregnancy is going well, though I have to admit I have never felt so pregnant in my life. Yes, that includes when I was nearly 42 weeks pregnant with Drew. I am so tired and so so SO sore! I'm starting to feel like I can hardly move because my hips and lower back feel like they are falling apart. I know a large part of it is that I haven't been nearly as active during this pregnancy. Cassie, Stacey, and I have been doing pregnancy yoga still (yes, Stacey too- there's some pretty decent stuff), but I haven't been as good about getting out and walking. I know it will help. When I was pregnant with Drew I just didn't get to that "I'm so uncomfortable" point. But I've still got 2 months to go and I'm already there. :-/

I've finally more or less decided to change my "vocabulary" when asked when I'm due. I was SO tired of the bulging eyes and startled comments when I said I was due in early November. By saying late October, even though it's really only a week difference, it seems to have a completely different effect. For the first time I've had a few people tell me, "you look great! You're not very big at all!". Still, at work the other day people were fussing over me and I said "guys, you realize I still have 2 months left, right?". They were more than a little shocked. And today I had a guy walk past me and say "well, you look just about ready to pop!" to which I responded "in about 2 months!". Sigh....

Really, the reason for the "lie" in the first place was to take some pressure off myself. Sure enough, the people at work, when told I still have 2 months left, told me, "no way! That baby's coming early!". That's exactly what happened with Drew, and that's exactly what made it so frustrating to go 12 days overdue. EVERYONE told me that there was no way I was going to my due date with Drew. He certainly proved everyone wrong. And as much as I had tried to ignore people, it still got into my head, and I don't want to do that again. By telling people I'm due in early November not only do I take some pressure off myself, but I've also started believing it. I'm convinced this is a November baby.

Besides the whines and complaints about aches, pains, and my size, things have been going very well. Floodlet is growing and kicking (and Drew will tell you this, after he points out where his baby brother is), and I've still been lucky to avoid a lot of typical pregnancy complaints. I'm seeing a midwife practice instead of a typical Ob/Gyn. They are much MUCH more natural birth friendly (in fact, they encourage it). I really like all the ladies and feel very comfortable there. My only complaint is that the head midwife hugs me at the end of each appointment. Not only do I feel strange being hugged by my "doctor", but you all ought to know by now my feelings on hugs...

Stacey snapped those pretty photos of Jason, Drew, and me that I posted on Wednesday and today Cassie and I got together and did some maternity shots for each other. So there will be more to come. :) Let me go ahead and say that toddlers are NOT cooperative when it comes to photo shoots. Even if you just try to play and not pose... Drew knew the instant that camera was out and clicking that he should NOT smile or be cute in any way. :-/

In general we're finally starting to act like we're going to have another baby in the house. I feel like I've been such a procrastinator this time. Seriously- I just signed up for birth class last week. And before you say anything, yes, I know I've done this before, but considering how little I remember about when Drew was a baby, I certainly don't remember enough about labor and delivery.  Still, we're taking a one day class instead of a 4 week one. We also signed up for a water birth class since the hospital actually offers that option, but you have to be "certified".  I'm not sure if that's the route I'd like to go, but I'd love to learn more and have the option available. The baby's room is finally painted as well, thanks to my mom. We're doing a fun alphabet nursery based around this sheet. The walls are more or less that light blue/teal color- very pretty! :) I've started picking up and making a few things for the walls, but hopefully I'm going to have some help from a friend to do something really fun on the walls! Pictures will, of course, be posted.

And I suppose if I'm going to do this much updating, I should put in a little piece about Jason, though I try to leave him out of this for the most part (he's prefers not to be online). He's doing well. Recovered from the appendix surgery. Work has been busy as you can imagine a golf course is in the summer. And his at home work has been keeping him busy, too. I'm certainly looking forward to the days getting shorter so we have him around more often.

Alright, is that enough to make up for my absence around here? I have a video for Monday, but other than that I make no promises. Keeping up with everything has been rough. And I think I'm allowed that. :)

Is it Friday yet?

Oh wait, it's Sunday? Friday came and went already? It's been one of those weeks. The kind of week where you thought you'd already reached your capacity to do anything else, but it kept going. It's been a mixture of fun and not-so-fun.

Some highlights:
Going to a Hawk's playoff game with Jason
Meet and Greet with my new midwife practice and hospital tour

Some lowlights:
Drew was sick with a very high fever
A good friend's mother passed away unexpectedly and we attended the services
Jason had to have an emergency appendectomy

But even the fun events meant I didn't get home until 10pm or later, which for a pregnant mama who gets up at 5:30am is not so fun. And the lowlights, well... they speak for themselves.

We've been very thankful for the prayers this weekend for Jason. The surgery went well and he is recovering as expected. Sore and tired, of course, but we are so thankful it wasn't something worse. Knowing Jason and his dislike for doctors and his high tolerance for pain, I was so worried that the appendix would have already ruptured (especially when he started saying the pain wasn't so bad anymore). He slept only 45 minutes Friday night but got up Saturday morning and went to work. He ended up leaving early and going to an urgent care center where the doctor literally told him he was an idiot for not coming in during the night, and sent him to ER.

Here's Jason after surgery- extremely tired from the anesthesia and the 45 minutes of sleep he got the entire night before...

And here's Drew's joyous return home after his overnight at Stacey's...

Stacey was so helpful to drop everything and come grab him when I decided I needed to be at the hospital (even though Jason kept telling me it was pointless to come and even though Stacey had probably literally just walked in her door after having been close to my area of town- she lives 30 minutes away).

I've got nothing for a Monday Minute post tomorrow. And who knows if I'll scrounge something up for Wordless Wednesday. Just a warning. We are getting lots of rest today, though, and just counting down the days until summer vacation...

Sigh...

Cute little snuggly picture, right? I hardly get any time like this anymore because Drew loves to play and won't hardly stand to just sit and cuddle these days. Yesterday, however, after his 4 month appointment (and thus his second round of vaccines) this was all he felt like doing. No smiles (well, a few reluctant ones), no playing, just snuggling with a few small, sad whimpers. This was better than the screaming for over an hour the last time he got shots but it still broke my heart to know that he didn't feel well. Can you see his red cheeks? I have to keep reminding myself that it's what's best for him or I'd probably run and hide him from his 6 month appointment. I'd do almost anything so my little baby doesn't have to feel like that again! Except, of course, let him catch the actual diseases he's being protected against.

My "little" baby isn't so little anymore though, weighing in at 15 lbs. 2 oz (54th percentile) and topping the charts at 27.5 inches, a whopping 97th percentile! This boy is long and lean (though he does have some deliciously chunky thighs!).

In other news, if you have you're own little one (or one on the way) and are at all interested in cloth diapers, head on over to Mama Loves Her Bargains for a gDiaper review and an awesome giveaway! I will admit that I'd rather you not because I'd rather win the gDiapers myself ;) but if it gets another person on board with the cloth I'm cool with that too!

P.S. It's election day! Stop sitting here reading blogs and go vote! I did! Even if it meant running out the door in my gym clothes, unshowered, just so I could fit it in before the hubby had to run to work. See?

If I had the chance to say....

Having lived with a chronic illness my whole life (or whole memorable life at least) I can tell you I have spent my fair share of time in doctor's offices.  And after the last ten months of pregnancy I can tell you I have truly had my fill! Between my CF appointments, the increasing in frequency OB visits, and of course the monthly high risk pregnancy visits, I felt like a professional patient.  The nurses and doctors barely had to open their mouths to tell me what to do next, "here's my pee, here's my arm, I already got on the scale and I weigh ____, yes he's moving a lot, no I'm not producing abnormal amounts of sputum, do you want me to take deep breaths now or are you just listening to my heart?".

Unfortunately, though I may know the game and be quick and ready to go, that's not always the case with the doctors.  Actually, I was happy to find that my OB and the high risk OB were both very quick.  In fact there were two times that I left before my actual appointment time!  My CF doctors, however.... well, let's just say that if this was not the only CF Adult Clinic that I know of in the state I might just share what I think of them... and it might go something like this.... (yes, it has to be red because I'm angry! :P)

Today, I planned my WHOLE day around my appointment with you.  I changed my son's normal eating times so as not to interrupt the appointment, because, of course, your time is important!  But you took 2 1/2 hours to get in here!  So please stop giving my son evil looks as he screams in your ear.  I would have fed him before you got in here, but I kept telling myself, "surely she's only going to be another minute.... I'd rather not feed my son for a few minutes only to pop him off so she can do her exam, so I'll just wait."  So I waited, and waited, and waited.  And he was almost fine, drifting off to sleep, but you came in and insisted on seeing his sweet, adorable face. So yes, now he's awake, over-tired, hungry, and unhappy from not being able to get out and 'play' so I will not have my husband take him out in the hall to try and quiet him! YOU can deal with his screaming just like I have to.

Oh, and you always send in a social worker to talk to me and make sure I am dealing with the "hardships" of living with a chronic illness.  To be honest, I don't find it much of a hardship at all.... oh, except for these 3 hour appointments every couple of months!  I don't have time for this.  You established this clinic to cater to the needs of the now growing adult population with CF, so get your act together and figure out what we need so you AREN'T an additional hardship.   We need to be able to get in and out quickly because, believe it or not, CF is not the only thing going on in our lives.  Yes, like other adults, we have jobs, families, homes, things to attend to, PLUS all that "hardship" crap that you're always concerned that we're dealing with.

And by the way, YOU are the one that recommended that I take 6 months off from work to recover.  So will you please fill out the paperwork and fax it to the necessary people before I lose my job AND my insurance?  I have called you every single day for the past 3 weeks.  Oh yeah, and if that one paper needed to be filled by my OB it would have been a LOT more helpful if you had told me that 3 WEEKS AGO! Because now I have to go through the hassle and apparently weeks on end of trying to get HER to fill it out.

And one last note, and this really goes to all doctors, the "perfectionist" in me wants to answer your questions the "right way."  So when you say, "you're snot isn't purple, is it?" my automatic, goody two-shoes, suck up response is "no, of course not!".  But, maybe, perhaps, it IS purple.  Now what?  Now I feel stupid saying, "oh wait, you know when you asked if my snot is purple?  Well... it is.... I just forgot." And yes, I know I'm a perfectly capable adult and need to manage my own care, but sometimes I don't even have a chance to think before I respond to those questions (especially when my child is screaming!) and my brain knows that the obvious, correct answer is "no."  So please, for both our sake, can you be a little less judgmental and just ask me, "is your snot purple?"

 Phew.... that feels good! Of course, this wonderful face always makes me feel better too!

Weeds

Nope, not that kind of weed, this kind of weed:

2 days old

 5 weeks old

Little Andrew is growing like a weed! Just look at how his legs are almost off the end of the swing now!

He was 8 lb, 6 oz when he was born.  At his one month check-up he weighed 10 lb. 4 oz!  That's almost 2 lbs. in a month!

And his height?  Well, I think we may just have a basketball player on our hands!  20 inches at birth, 23.5 at one month! Holy moly!  He's about 93rd percentile for height! (That means he is "taller" than 93% of babies his age).  He was 83rd percentile at his first appointment!  I guess maybe having a little more room being outside of Mommy's tummy allowed him to do some major growing!

My little baby is going to disappear before my eyes!

What's up, doc?

I first have to comment that the students I teach would not get the above reference. Sad, eh? Or is it? I tried to explain Sylvester cat's "sufferin' succotash" to my News Team kids one morning... that didn't go over so well.  I didn't realize that kids don't watch Loony Toons anymore!!

Anyways... back to the point... in Drew's less than 2 weeks of life he has already been to 3 doctor's appointments!!  One for him, one for me, and one was simply a weigh-in for him.

 I don't want to go to the doctor!

Drew is looking healthy and strong.  The doctor was impressed with just how pink he is (absolutely no signs of jaundice).  Everything else looked good too... including his poop.  Yup, we had a great time with that one.  After the exam the doctor told us we could go ahead and dress Drew again, but he had a poopy diaper so we attempted to change it while the doctor continued to talk to us.  As we were paying more attention to the doctor than to Drew we did not realize that something wasn't quite right... until Jason felt something wet in his flip flop. Oops! We have a boy! We scrambled to cover up.  Just when I thought he was finished and lifted the "clean" diaper, off he went again, spraying in the other direction.  We quickly scrambled to cover again, then... SPLAT!  What was that? Oh, that was a pile of liquidy yellow breastfed baby poo.  The doctor hadn't noticed what was going on until the loud noise and looked down to see liquid dripping everywhere off of the exam table.  "Oh my! Did he get me!?" he exclaimed as he jumped back.  Thankfully Drew did not dirty the doctor, but he sure did make a mess of the entire table!  We had to keep pulling new paper to try and get a spot dry enough to continue changing him!!  The doctor did get to witness that Drew's poop is in fact "yellow and seedy" as it is supposed to be though!

The doctor said I can have my paci!

On that note his weigh-in went extremely well too.  Did you know that babies often lose weight in their first few days of life? Drew dropped from 8 lb. 6 oz. to 7 lb. 11 oz. before we left the hospital.  By his first appointment he had gone up a little to 7 lb. 12 oz., but they wanted to check him again in a week.  Well, he's already at 8 lb. 12 oz! That means he gained a whole pound in a week! Yikes! Babies are supposed to gain back their birth weight within the first 2 weeks.  He's gained it back plus some and he's not even 2 weeks yet!  I asked the nurse if there was a such thing as gaining "too much".  She told me he's good.  I guess breastfeeding is going well though! Not being able to see how much he's eating (or that he's even eating at all!) means a lot of breastfeeding moms, including me, worry that their babes aren't getting enough.

Looks like I'm getting plenty, doesn't it?

My own appointment went well too.  It was my first appointment with my CF doctors since giving birth.  My lung function is already back up the 10% I dropped while pregnant! Awesome! And I'm not even back on my normal meds yet! It seems pregnancy overall was pretty good to me.  Their biggest concern is my weight.  It turns out I'm already below my pre-pregnancy weight.  I'm still in the "green zone" as they call it, but I can't lose anymore.  I didn't realize just how hard it was going to be though.  Did you know breastfeeding burns 800 calories a day? You actually need to take in more calories while breastfeeding than while pregnant!  I'm trying to train myself to snack while Drew is eating... but I often forget. My mom has been great buying all sorts of goodies to fatten me up like cookies and ice cream and key lime pie! I guess I should probably get some healthy snacks in there too....

Mom's belly is still nice and squishy!