Unfortunately, though I may know the game and be quick and ready to go, that's not always the case with the doctors. Actually, I was happy to find that my OB and the high risk OB were both very quick. In fact there were two times that I left before my actual appointment time! My CF doctors, however.... well, let's just say that if this was not the only CF Adult Clinic that I know of in the state I might just share what I think of them... and it might go something like this.... (yes, it has to be red because I'm angry! :P)
Phew.... that feels good! Of course, this wonderful face always makes me feel better too!Today, I planned my WHOLE day around my appointment with you. I changed my son's normal eating times so as not to interrupt the appointment, because, of course, your time is important! But you took 2 1/2 hours to get in here! So please stop giving my son evil looks as he screams in your ear. I would have fed him before you got in here, but I kept telling myself, "surely she's only going to be another minute.... I'd rather not feed my son for a few minutes only to pop him off so she can do her exam, so I'll just wait." So I waited, and waited, and waited. And he was almost fine, drifting off to sleep, but you came in and insisted on seeing his sweet, adorable face. So yes, now he's awake, over-tired, hungry, and unhappy from not being able to get out and 'play' so I will not have my husband take him out in the hall to try and quiet him! YOU can deal with his screaming just like I have to.
Oh, and you always send in a social worker to talk to me and make sure I am dealing with the "hardships" of living with a chronic illness. To be honest, I don't find it much of a hardship at all.... oh, except for these 3 hour appointments every couple of months! I don't have time for this. You established this clinic to cater to the needs of the now growing adult population with CF, so get your act together and figure out what we need so you AREN'T an additional hardship. We need to be able to get in and out quickly because, believe it or not, CF is not the only thing going on in our lives. Yes, like other adults, we have jobs, families, homes, things to attend to, PLUS all that "hardship" crap that you're always concerned that we're dealing with.
And by the way, YOU are the one that recommended that I take 6 months off from work to recover. So will you please fill out the paperwork and fax it to the necessary people before I lose my job AND my insurance? I have called you every single day for the past 3 weeks. Oh yeah, and if that one paper needed to be filled by my OB it would have been a LOT more helpful if you had told me that 3 WEEKS AGO! Because now I have to go through the hassle and apparently weeks on end of trying to get HER to fill it out.
And one last note, and this really goes to all doctors, the "perfectionist" in me wants to answer your questions the "right way." So when you say, "you're snot isn't purple, is it?" my automatic, goody two-shoes, suck up response is "no, of course not!". But, maybe, perhaps, it IS purple. Now what? Now I feel stupid saying, "oh wait, you know when you asked if my snot is purple? Well... it is.... I just forgot." And yes, I know I'm a perfectly capable adult and need to manage my own care, but sometimes I don't even have a chance to think before I respond to those questions (especially when my child is screaming!) and my brain knows that the obvious, correct answer is "no." So please, for both our sake, can you be a little less judgmental and just ask me, "is your snot purple?"
Phew! Sounds like one miserable day. I can't believe they really make you meet a social worker at each visit.
ReplyDeleteWe had a specialist in Colorado who routinely showed up at the office two hours late (or sometimes would decide not to come in at all and cancel an hour or two after your scheduled appointment). If we lost patience and left, we would be charged a no-show fee. Her waiting room was always jam-packed. It was extremely annoying when I was taking time off work and the kids were missing school.
Oh, and I'm glad you get six months off! I was wondering about that. I know it'll be hard to go back even then, but it'll be much easier than going back now.
Wow. If that rant sent my blood pressure up, I can only imagine what your BP was!! You titled it "if I Had the Chance to Say..." Well, maybe you should say something. You've made many excellent points, especially that as an adult CFer, you've got lots going on, and your time is important. With the adult clinic being relatively new, they're learning as they go. They need feedback to improve things, and probably don't even know it. I get it that sometimes emergencies tie up doctors, but a lot of it is just ridiculous scheduling. And if a doctor is running 2 1/2 hours behind, the staff could let you know ahead of time.
ReplyDeleteRecently, I had a two minute appointment to have some sutures removed. I booked it with 60 minutes to spare... and waited...listening to the doctor chit-chatting away in the next room (not very soundproof). I watched the time ticking, and finally jumped up, went to the hall half-dressed, and called down to the receptionist "could you please call my office and have them let my patient know that Dr. DeKleer is running behind, so I'll be late?" I had my stitches out 20 seconds later!
Anyway, I think you should speak up, and I'm sure you'd be a lot more polite than I was. Otherwise, the clinic will only get more frustrating as time goes by.
Here's hoping that paper work gets done quickly for the 6 months off. I'm glad to hear you're taking it.
Love, Pat
@ Wynn Anne- I can't believe a doctor could do that to you! That's way worse than mine! I hate that specialists seem to be able to get away with crap like that!
ReplyDelete@ Pat- I know I ought to say something but I have the tendency to cry when I'm angry and the proper things never really get said. In fact, I had an experience similar to yours at a dentist's office actually! It was my second time trying to go in for a filling. The first time they had "forgotten" about me in the waiting room. After an hour I rescheduled because it was getting too close to something else I had planned. At my second visit I also waited in the waiting room, only 45 minutes this time, only to wait another 20+ in the back. I sat and listened to my dentist chat football with another patient. I thought, "at least they're almost done," only to hear him walk into another room after that! I wasn't even next! So I got up, took off my bib, and walked out. A nurse saw me and asked what I was doing. I burst into tears and told her, like a child, "I want to go home!". And I did. They called the next day to reschedule and I told them I wasn't going back.
That story right there illustrates 2 reasons I didn't want to say anything. #1 I don't have the option of not going back since they're the only adult CF clinic. And #2 I can never seem to manage my anger and say the right thing anyway. But you are right that they probably need to hear it. Perhaps I can write a letter, or find another more constructive way to get my opinion out there without it turning into tears or an angry rant like above!
Gosh, I think you inherited my uncontrollable floodgates! I've even prayed for God to plug my tears. Over the years, I've sent Ross in to do battle for the kids when there have been issues at school, because I dissolve into a puddle, no matter what the emotion...anger, indignation, protectiveness, sadness,...even totally happy, you name it...I've dissolved. And, I'm not a pretty weeper, the nose works overtime, the face is blotchy red and white...a lovely sight.
ReplyDeleteSending a note is a great idea. Gives you space and time to articulate what you need to say. They may or may not choose to get back to you, but you know they know. It may feel awkward to face them again initially, but it's important for the future. Things will get a little more complicated in your life as you go back to work, Drew gets older, etc. etc. and maybe, just maybe, they'll have a little more respect for your time needs. It's feedback that is good for them to work with. Maybe you could address it to the social worker, and she could take it from there.
Love, Pat
That was ridiculous!! You want me to call and act like a patient? I'll be happy to share your concerns!
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe I just read this Diane. I used to have the same problem (cry, cry, cry) but then I started practicing with friends whenever I had something hard to say. They would be ruthless and I would end up laughing my head off while I tried to counter their made-up excuses. I have a feeling that Stacey would be a great friend to act as a sounding board. :)
ReplyDelete