On Edge

Many people comment on how Drew is just such a happy little boy. He's easy-going and rarely puts up a fuss. His Nonny and Poppy, who watch him every Friday, always tell me how easy he is, as does his nanny Erin (who is now watching him two days a week while Jason works more hours at the golf course).  Truly, he is a very happy boy, who makes me laugh and smile tons every day.

But, he isn't always happy and easy-going. Lately, our evenings have been looking something like this:

Yeah, we have terrible meltdowns many evenings.

So, currently, Drew gets 3 naps a day. One in the morning, one early afternoon, and one early evening. This seems like a lot of naps for him to still be getting, and, indeed, he often won't go to sleep for the evening nap. I keep thinking he's ready to phase it out. But, when he doesn't get that nap, or if he naps, but only for a short period of time, I end up with the screaming monster baby. The screaming monster baby is usually hungry, but will only suck on the boob for a few seconds (therefore not getting the milk to flow) before screaming and sobbing huge tears. He will eagerly take a bite of his beloved rice cereal only to scream because it's apparently not what he wants (too cold? too thick? too runny? I don't know!). He will violently turn his head away from frozen fruit in his "baby feeder" even though any other time he would greedily slurp every last sweet morsel from it. He will scream when he's set down, but will push away from me when I hold him....

Doing this evening after evening after a long day of work is exhausting, not to mention emotionally draining as I tend to feel that my boy is happy for everyone else besides me.

Something's. gotta. give. But what? When he naps he's his normal, happy self, but I can't force him to sleep. Even if I wanted to. Perhaps you can force a kid to eat (which I don't recommend), but sleep? That just doesn't work. You can leave him in his crib for two hours but that in no way guarantees he will actually fall asleep.

So we're playing with ideas like taking out the evening nap, but moving the final feeding and bed time earlier (but then will he wake up earlier in the morning too? He already sleeps 11-12 hours at night!). It's frustrating because things work right now (I mean, besides evenings). His current schedule works with my schedule, with Jason's schedule, with the babysitters' schedules.... I'm nervous to try and change things up.

But, if there's anything I've learned in the last 8 months, it's that flexibility is key. It seems we're always "on edge" (and not just in the sense of wanting to pull out hair at times). Drew is, obviously, constantly growing and changing. He's always "just about to....". Just about to roll over. Just about to crawl. Just about to get a tooth. Just about to sit up or pull up on his own. Just about to eat a new food. Just about to walk..... With every change we learn to adapt the way we do things. It is hard for someone like me, who enjoys routines and schedules, to constantly be in between. But I'm learning. In the end it's about what's best for Drew, not necessarily what's convenient for the rest of us. And having temper tantrums like ^ that.... well, that's really not best for any of us.