I have been having lots of fun posting tons of cute pics of Drew, and I'm sure you've been enjoying them, but you may be wondering where the usually over-wordy blabbermouth Diane has been. Well, obviously, I don't really have the time to sit and write lengthy posts these days, besides the fact that I haven't really had a whole lot to "say", mostly I just have stuff to "show". But I do have something on my mind right now that I was hoping to get a little advice and/or reassurance about....
You may know, either from reading the blog, or just knowing me in general, that I am a worrier. Even if there is nothing to worry about I always manage to find something (my boy gained 2 lbs. in a month and I still worry on and off that he's not getting enough to eat! :P). Mix "worrier" with "mom" (especially "new mom") and you have a formula for obsessiveness. Obsessiveness is one thing I knew from the start I wanted to avoid. I knew I didn't want to worry about every little bump, every sniffle, every sound. I knew I wanted to be one of those laid-back moms that has the confidence to trust that everything is fine.
And while I've more or less managed to be "laid-back mom" (with lots of effort!), I have one obsession I can't seem to let go of.... The "sleep breathing check". Any time I toss or turn in the middle of the night I wake up and freak out... "OMG, I'm a mom! I have a baby! Is he ok!?!?". I either have to pop my head over the side of thebayonet bassinet (sorry babe ;) ) or stick my hand in and put it on his chest to make sure he's still breathing. Or, if he's sleeping and I'm doing chores, I will suddenly drop everything and rush (dripping wet hands and all) to go check on him and make sure that his chest is indeed rising and falling as it should be. Every time it's this momentary panic, like I've left him trapped in an overheated car for hours and am just remembering he's there. And God forbid it take more than half a second to see that chest rise and fall...
I know for a new mom this isn't entirely uncommon, but I'm curious how long it's supposed to last. It's been 6 weeks and the sudden feeling of panic is just as strong as it ever was. How am I ever going to learn to have him sleep in the crib in his room and not in the bassinet beside the bed? I can't go running across the hallway a couple of times every night just to make sure he's breathing, which he most likely is. Is this a phase? Will I get over it? Am I just crazy? Will I just eventually learn to suppress the feeling of panic, or will I some day be able to trust that everything is fine? I'd love some advice...
You may know, either from reading the blog, or just knowing me in general, that I am a worrier. Even if there is nothing to worry about I always manage to find something (my boy gained 2 lbs. in a month and I still worry on and off that he's not getting enough to eat! :P). Mix "worrier" with "mom" (especially "new mom") and you have a formula for obsessiveness. Obsessiveness is one thing I knew from the start I wanted to avoid. I knew I didn't want to worry about every little bump, every sniffle, every sound. I knew I wanted to be one of those laid-back moms that has the confidence to trust that everything is fine.
And while I've more or less managed to be "laid-back mom" (with lots of effort!), I have one obsession I can't seem to let go of.... The "sleep breathing check". Any time I toss or turn in the middle of the night I wake up and freak out... "OMG, I'm a mom! I have a baby! Is he ok!?!?". I either have to pop my head over the side of the
I know for a new mom this isn't entirely uncommon, but I'm curious how long it's supposed to last. It's been 6 weeks and the sudden feeling of panic is just as strong as it ever was. How am I ever going to learn to have him sleep in the crib in his room and not in the bassinet beside the bed? I can't go running across the hallway a couple of times every night just to make sure he's breathing, which he most likely is. Is this a phase? Will I get over it? Am I just crazy? Will I just eventually learn to suppress the feeling of panic, or will I some day be able to trust that everything is fine? I'd love some advice...
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| Yup, he's breathing! Oh, and being cute too! |
Your anxiety should ease as Drew grows and is able to call out for you. (Knowing your baby can get your attention brings a lot of peace of mind.) But it will never completely go away. Just ask your mom & dad. There is ALWAYS something to worry about. It's normal.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, if it gets worse, or is getting in the way of enjoying your baby and your life as a new mom, talk to your doctor about it. Anxiety is a treatable condition.
Ditto, including talking with your MD if it is troublesome.
ReplyDeleteIt's a very natural instinct, with some of us wired with it a little more tightly than others; that, together with hormones swinging, sleep-deprivation, and being a "new Mom", you feel it all the more intensely. But, "This too shall pass". You're a wonderful and caring Mom, and a great protector. (Glad you didn't throw Drew on the wall when you saw that bug! :) )
Love, Patrica Worry Simpson
Hi Diane,
ReplyDeleteI worry! I agree, the breathing thing is the worst, and probably my biggest worry as well. Grace began rolling over a few weeks ago, so now she likes to sleep face down! Yes, me and Ryan checked on her like every 30 min that first night-- everything you read says to put them on their back. She refuses to sleep on her back now, and usually doesn't turn her face to the side. I read up about it, and everything tells me if she is strong enough to raise her head (which she has been since the beginning) then I shouldn't worry. Plus keeping everything out of the crib, firm mattress, etc. I ordered a breathable bumper from target.com to put around the crib because she started rolling and getting her leg out of the crib. You may want to get that if you haven't, so its one less thing to worry about...
Marshall