"Glee"-full delivery

So it strikes again, the popularized by TV version of childbirth.  No wonder so many women say "no way" to natural childbirth when you see stuff like I just saw!

*GLEE SPOILER ALERT*

If you watch Glee, I am giving a heads up that I may be giving away some of the final episode!

I am going to start by saying that I am not a Gleek....yet... I have been interested in the show and know I would love it if I started watching it, but Jason and I simply do not watch TV.  Jason has SportsCenter on 24/7 if he's home, but we do not really watch TV shows.  We used to be hooked on Heroes, Chuck, and at one time Pushing Daisies but it seems this past year we just "don't have the time" to watch shows.... what we're busy doing I'm not sure... but we Tivo our shows then never get caught up.  I alone only turn on the TV once or twice a month.

But, my mom is here and she watches Glee, so we sat down to watch it last night.  I am not writing this to make fun of the show, I truly enjoyed it, I just had some "qualms" with the childbirth part.  And, as I don't watch it, I really don't know much about the characters and plot line, so bear with me...

One of the girls in the Glee club, a cheerleader, was 9 months pregnant.  In the episode they are in a big competition with other Glee clubs, so they get up on stage and put on a big singing and dancing performance.  After the performance preggo girl's mom shows up (they've apparently not been talking because of the pregnancy).  She wants preggo to come home, she'll fix up a nursery, etc.  Mom asks, "so what do you think?"  After a "pregnant" pause (hahaha.....) Preggo replies, "my water just broke!"

There's Pregnancy Myth #1: Your water breaks then you go into labor, so obviously DON'T go anywhere in the last few weeks because you might just make a mess somewhere! "Clean up on aisle 5!"  Truth: Only about 10% of women have their water break before any contractions begin. Even once contractions begin you may be well into active labor (hours after labor has begun) before the membranes rupture (or you may have a wonderful doctor decide to rupture them for you, with or without permission! See comments section of this post).

So everyone, entire Glee club included, rushes to the hospital.  Rushes being the key word.

Pregnancy Myth #2: The moment labor begins you must rush to the hospital because obviously that baby is going to pop out while you're still in the car!  Truth: Labor in fact lasts easily up to 12 hours.  That's a "text book" labor meaning it can last even longer than that!  Sound scary?  Well yeah, but in actual fact in the early stages of labor you're likely only having one or two contractions an hour, and they're not very intense (well, that's what I'm told anyway).  Don't get me wrong, there are "speedsters" as my Bradley Childbirth Method book calls them, who birth much faster than that, but most likely with a first baby there's no way you're going to be giving birth in a car.

So they get to the hospital and everyone except Preggo, Mom, and Baby Daddy are told to wait in the waiting room.... and the wait begins.... except they apparently only have to wait... what? Half an hour?  Preggo is taken back and by the time the other Glee club has finished its' performance back at the competition she has a beautiful bouncing baby girl.

Pregnancy Myth #3: Wait, I don't even know if this is a myth.... Does anyone believe baby's pop out in half an hour?  I wish it was that fast!!  Again, as stated above, it could easily be 12 hours before you see any sign of baby. It was somewhere around 24 hours in fact from the time my mom had her first contraction with me to the time I actually arrived.

And of course, for effect, the birth of said baby is accompanied by plenty of screaming and yelling at Baby Daddy "you suck, you suck, you suck!"  I'm not going to claim this as any kind of myth... I know women do get like this, but I think we think its commonplace thanks to "childbirth as seen on TV".  One of the main things we learned in our birthing class is that fear leads to tension leads to pain.  Meaning if we know what's going on we're more able to relax and hopefully not be in as much pain (no, I'm not going to claim childbirth will be painless).  We also learned screaming is a GREAT way to stay relaxed (note the sarcasm...)  Screaming actually makes you tense up more.

Basically, I think if people knew that labor is not an instantaneous plunge into torture they might be more likely to consider alternative options for managing pain.  Childbirth on TV is scary!